It is days like today that make you want to throw your your hands and say to hell with it.  My morning started out at 3:00 am this morning, with of all things with a women hearing voices and seeing things, of course this had not just started it has been going on for 4 days, but now the voices are saying bad things to her, and they want stop.

But even worse are the bats with big eyes, rats with wings, snakes with teeth, and some kinda horney creature with spikes all over it.  The voices are now telling her that she might hurt herself. This has been going on now for several days and she has not told her councilor which she has seen twice this week already.

Next  at 4:30 am comes the I can't breathe, cheyne stoking big time, that the family has waited until it is almost impossible for him to catch another breath, to decide that maybe they should get him some help, he is circling the drain big time and I am doing all I can to get him there alive, and the family, who was sent on ahead while we were working to get this man some relief. by the time we have him at the hospital he is sitting up, breathing much better (thank you very much) the family wants to know what took so long. (Not that he is doing much better, but what took you so long)

Now at 6:00AM in comes another i can't breathe, where the wife has him on the porch, in a wheel chair, tossing papers at us that he should not be revived if any worse should happen, when back intot he house she goes saying I will be over there later today and she is not seen again.  can't get much from the man who is sucking buttermilk, so we do the best we can, another one sitting up and talking when we get him to the hospital.

It now 10:30 am still no sleep and have another 24 hours yet to go on this tour of duty. when the door bell is ring with i need my blood pressure checked and while your are at tit check my blood sugar. finally get to lay down at noon to be back up at 2 and on our way to s structure fire to standby.  When my cell phone rings, It is the Boss, to tell me that we need to talk because one of these patients or family members have called and complained that I was a little short with them, and for the life of me I can not figure out wher this is coming from.

But I listen as I am watching to firefighters battling to put out the fire, and thinking to myself what the hell difference does it make, you can't win for losing and maybe I will go home and not come back.  But it is only for a brief second.  I pat myself on the back and tell myself that I have done some good today, no one is died and i will be there when they call the next time... And yes there will be that next time.